If someone talks down to you or treats you like shit, it’s important to your own wellbeing to not take it personally and let it get you down. Instead, you can choose to see it for what it actually is: unconscious behavior that’s being played out as a result of a trauma they are carrying in their body.
Their behavior is a projection of what’s going on in their own internal world.
What they think of you is most likely what they think of themselves, and how they treat you is most likely how they treat themselves.
But it’s also an energetic match. You attracted it in, so you must have a similar energy within you for it to show up in your life. So what are you going to do about it?
Heal that energy.
You Always Have a Choice
No one can take anything from you unless YOU allow them to. 😉 Are you choosing to take responsibility for that? Or are you choosing to play victim to their behavior?
It really is all just a choice in your own mind… although it can definitely be challenging when you’re in it!
The contrast of the external helps us see the areas within ourselves that we need to heal and shift, so we can be grateful when it shows up (otherwise, how would we ever know what we need to heal?!)
That being said, if you are able to rise above the negativity and see your own divinity (your love, your awesomeness, your truth!) you will also see that maybe it’s time to leave the table of toxicity with this person.
Let’s be honest, it’s not worth your time and energy to get entangled with negative, unconscious behavior. Especially from someone who is choosing to play victim, who is not willing to work on healing their own shit, and who is not treating YOU with respect.
You deserve respect. And you don’t have to take other people’s shit. Their burdens are theirs to carry, not yours.
But, because of free will, you can’t really demand respect from someone, especially someone who views you in a negative light and doesn’t see a problem with their behaviors.
So What Do You Do?
You can’t [totally] control the thoughts and behaviors of others, but what you can control are the thoughts and behaviors of yourself. You also can’t heal someone else (directly) but you can heal yourself directly, which could indirectly inspire them to heal themselves.
When it comes to your relationships with others, you can choose to give yourself love and respect by practicing your own free will.
This can be done in a simple way: by taking your attention away from this person who’s spewing negativity and then holding space for them to heal and grow on their own (or not heal and grow, if that’s their choice!) Whatever they choose, you have to be good with it! But you also don’t have to stick around if they are choosing to keep themselves stuck in negativity.
Remember, if someone argues with you, what’s actually happening is they are arguing for their own limitations. If you argue back, you’re adding fuel to the fire of negativity, which actually makes that negative energy bigger. This ultimately means you’re just wasting your own precious energy and arguing for your own limitations.
If you choose to take your attention away, the next important step in this process is to let go of feeling like you need to explain why you’re taking your attention away, as this kind of defeats the purpose and just enables the behavior to continue.
You empower others to heal and grow by letting them discover what’s going on within themselves on their own.
The Answer is to Do Nothing
Since all energies need a host, taking your attention away from negativity gives that negativity nothing to hold on to. When you do that, that particular energy will dissolve (at least in the way it’s being directed towards you) and it will eventually go away on its own.
This is also how you take your power back. You are showing this negative, unconscious behavior that you will simply no longer tolerate it and if it wants to continue to grow bigger, it will have to find a new host.
When you take your power back and stay aligned in love and neutrality, you hold a mirror up to someone whose behaviors are not in alignment with who they really are, underneath all of the traumas they hold in their body. By not engaging with this particular energy, you are giving this person an opportunity to take a deeper look at what’s going on within them.
We heal by first bringing awareness to something we are doing and then taking action by doing something different than we used to do the next time.
If someone chooses not to look at their behaviors or do any work to change them, you can just respect the fact that this is how they choose to live and that’s more than fine with you! But they also shouldn’t expect you to stick around.
Our goal in life is to heal and evolve so we can live with more love, joy, and purpose!