Today, I’m feeling grumpy.
So I figured I’d write it out in a blog post to get it all out and to try to figure out what is really bothering me deep down so that I can make the appropriate changes where I need to.
When I’m upset, writing is a great outlet for me.
So is the gym.
But today is my day off… plus I’m exhausted and feeling worn down.
Anyways, below is the timeline of events that lead to my overwhelm. I am now at a point where I’ve had enough of feeling like sh*t and am making the decision to do something about it so I can start to feel better.
I hope this post helps someone else who’s feeling frustrated but can’t understand why… this is how I work through my negativity.
It Started with a New Business Idea
Last week I decided to start making moves with this new business idea I’ve had in my head for quite some time now, which involves rebranding my design and marketing business to be something bigger.
I was hesitant about whether I should start it now or wait until the beginning of 2017, but I decided to just go for it because it felt like the right time to do it.
Once I made the decision to start working on it, I discovered that the idea itself really started pulling at me to give it some major attention.
So I did.
And then I started to become OBSESSED with it (as my brain naturally tends to do.)
After a few days, I realized that the more time I spent on it, the more energized I felt (which probably means I’m heading in the right direction.) I found myself staying up super late working on it and jumping out of bed super early to continue working on it.
Then Monday Happened…
… and Tuesday and Wednesday. I felt like this was the week where everyone and my mother (literally) needed me to help them with their business stuff.
That’s when I started to notice feelings of frustration, annoyance and overwhelm.
I wasn’t enjoying being pulled away from my thing. My business. What I wanted to do.
All I wanted to do was work on creating my new business, but I felt like other people were getting in the way of that.
That’s when I realized that I’m probably not supposed to be doing client work right now.
And I’m being pulled in this new direction for a reason.
I’m feeling frustrated because I’m letting myself be pulled out of the “eye of the storm” and into the chaos. I’m in a transition and going through a big change.
I’m realizing I have a higher purpose and that it’s time to tune into that frequency and let go of the past.
The past wasn’t working well for me anyways.
What’s ironic is, my new idea doesn’t really include doing client work. It includes more passive income stuff, which I know is right for me because I’ve already been quite successful at creating this kind of stuff, and it definitely suits my style more.
A Deeper Look at Why I Have Been Feeling Frustrated
I feel like people have always come to me for help but I rarely go to others. I’m a person who doesn’t like asking for help because I don’t like burdening people with my problems. Plus, I have the “I can do it all myself” mentality.
Lately, I’ve been trying to help everyone else with their needs, on top of my already-full to do list with my own stuff.
This means my needs have been put on the back burner and so I haven’t been completing things that need to be done and when they need to be done (like the blog post I wrote yesterday… it was posted a day late, which frankly kind of pisses me off because if I say I’m going to do something, I always try to keep my word, and I have planned for that particular post to be posted every Monday.)
So basically, I feel like I’m putting myself and my business second when I should be putting them first.
When I put myself second, that means I put others before me.
This is a tough concept for me because I was brought up to always think of others first.
I think this is the concept that has actually caused me the most struggle in my business and life!
And I feel like whoever is promoting this shit has it all backwards.
The problem with putting others first means I’ve taught myself, as well as others, that I come second.
What I need to do is make myself and my business a priority. And do so unapologetically.
Where Changes Need to be Made and Why
1. I Need to Get Better at Saying “No” to People
One of my all-time biggest struggles is saying “no” to people. This is advice that is easier said rather than done; you can tell someone to “just say no” to people, but when you are the person saying no to others, there are still usually repercussions that come with that, like:
- Feeling guilty/bad about it because you do want to help them and you probably do have the answers that will help them, but you are choosing not to.
- Feeling bad because you don’t want to sound cold and unwilling to help.
- Feeling bad because now they are going to have to go spend the time searching for someone else who can help them.
- Feeling bad because you are admitting to yourself that you can’t handle it or “do it all.”
- Feeling bad because you feel like you let them down.
- The person tries to make you feel bad about it and tries to guilt you into doing it anyways.
- The person feels offended and takes it personally that you don’t consider them a priority.
- Feeling overwhelmed because of all these feelings and thoughts that come after saying no.
Saying no to people should make things better because that means you don’t have to do whatever it was they were asking you to do! But I’ve found that even though you don’t have to do the thing, you still have to deal with the emotional guilt. And sometimes that’s even worse.
Wah. The woes of having high empathy and compassion for others.
2. I Need to Focus More on Myself and My Business
I’ve spent most of my time and energy helping others over the years. But what if I took all that energy and shifted it over to helping ME?
If I let go of what no longer serves me and start working more on my own stuff, imagine how deep I could get in my creative zone! What could I create with a full force of focus and energy?!!
I’d also probably be my happiest because I’d only be creating what I envision and love instead of trying to make everyone else outside of me happy.
Going forward, I need to be more selfish, I need to say no more and I need to focus only on my stuff.
Also, I need to listen to my intuition! I already know what I want and how I want it.
Sounds kind of ludicrous telling myself to be more selfish instead of thinking of others first, but in the big picture, for things to get better, I need to get better.
3. I Need to Focus on my Inner Strengths + What Makes Me Happy
- Working alone.
- Working from home.
- Being able to work from anywhere.
- Being in a cozy, warm environment.
- Having extended amounts of time to just read and create without interruptions or someone needing something from me.
- Passive income because I can just create my own things in my own style and then sell them on a scalable level without having to coordinate much with people. And I only have to figure out the pricing for it once.
- Creating systems and automation that do the tedious work for me.
- Having time freedom and flexibility to work for as little or as long as I want.
- Finding others who can relate and who just “get it”.
I feel in like I am on the brink of a turning point and I have to make some big decisions.
I’m pretty sure all of this stress I’ve been experiencing has just been brewing from my new business idea. It’s big step in a new direction, which is both exciting and scary as f*ck, but I feel like it’s the right one for me.
Ahhh. I feel better now. 🙂
I Want to Hear From You!
Are you in touch with your feelings or do you often have no idea why you feel a certain way and find yourself feeling frustrated?
Feel free to comment below and let me know!