You hear people preaching stuff like this ALL THE TIME:
“Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
“It’s a slow process but quitting won’t speed it up.”
“The moment you want to quit is the moment you need to keep pushing.”
We’ve been hearing these types of things since we were young and so the mindset is practically ingrained in us.
I, however, see a problem with this.
In my opinion, I believe if you’re not careful, this kind of mindset can actually be quite dangerous to your overall well-being and your life in general.
Confused? Let me explain…
Have you ever felt any of these fears or thought any of these thoughts when deciding whether you should quit something or not?
"If I quit..."
- Then everyone is going to judge me as a "loser" who is weak and unable to handle the situation.
- Then I'm going to be letting people down and causing them to suffer and I just don’t know if I can live with that guilt.
- I could lose my safety net and make things very hard on myself. This would make me feel very uncomfortable and scared so it’s probably just best try to be “smart” about it and not take the risk at all, or at least wait until the timing is better.
These fears are all very real (I’ve totally had them myself!) but the reality is that whatever it is you fear the most, there’s probably a good chance that it’s not actually going to happen. At least not in the way you think.
I think most people in this world don’t realize how strong they actually are or how capable they are of pushing through their struggles. I think the thing people fear the most is simply the struggle. Most people don't want to get uncomfortable. Most people just want to play it safe.
That being said, let’s take a deeper look at what fear actually is...
“Fear is anticipation of the possibility that something unpleasant will occur.” - Dictionary.com
So basically, fear is just an emotion that is unpleasant.
That’s all it is. It’s just an EMOTION! It’s not completely real. It’s something you make up in your head!
When you look at it at this angle, it doesn’t seem so big and scary.
Worrying goes hand in hand with fear.
"Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere."
I remember when I was trying to decide whether to quit my job or not years ago, my roommate at the time (who already had her own web design biz) asked me a simple question that basically changed my whole outlook and helped erase a lot of the fear in me:
“What is the absolute worst case scenario for the thing you fear the most?”
I told her, “If I quit my job, I might run out of money and then I won’t be able to pay my bills … and then I’ll probably end up homeless on the streets feeling like the biggest loser.”
She laughed and told me the chance of that actually happening is slim to none.
She went on to say that if I run out of money, someone or something would probably help me out in some form or another.
So I took a second look at the situation and decided to take the risk by quitting my job and starting my own business.
Six months later, my savings ran out and I had to face that fear. I needed money to help me pay my rent and bills.
Low and behold, the universe brought me some financial assistance: I ended up getting a part-time gig (driving for Lyft) and also got a little financial assistance from my mom (so grateful for her!) I also used credit cards (which I don’t recommend if you can help it) BUT the point is, my biggest fear of "having to live on the streets and feeling like an absolute loser" NEVER HAPPENED.
And here I am, years later, still doing my own thing and SUCCEEDING.
Yes, I had to pay off the debt I accrued. Yes, it was uncomfortable asking for money. But what I learned about myself, business, and life through the process has been ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS.
Bottom line: You might have to live uncomfortably for a bit of time, but it’s not forever. And it’s from those uncomfortable periods of time that you grow the most. The struggle is only going to make you stronger and wiser.
That being said, I don’t think quitting makes you weak.
I believe quitting makes you stronger.
I think our culture wants us to believe that quitting makes us weak, but in actuality, it’s used as a technique to invoke fear in us in order to have more control over us.
Who likes being controlled?!
Who gets controlled?
The people are afraid of getting uncomfortable, the people who let fear paralyze them and the people who just don’t realize their own intelligence and strength.
I believe in learning the difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough of something.
And if you want to be successful, you need to be okay with letting go of your pride, ego, fears, worries, etc. and JUST F*CKING QUIT.
Winners DO quit and quitters DO win. It just depends on the situation.
If you don’t quit that thing you hate simply because you are afraid to, you’re probably going to spend the rest of your life doing it. You have to take responsibility for that. YOU are CHOOSING to feel miserable every day. Is an uncomfortable period of time worth not being truly happy the rest of your life?
The longer you wait to get uncomfortable, the longer you prolong your unhappiness.
The best lesson I’ve learned over my entrepreneurial journey is to be a quitter... and f*cking like it. You have to try all kinds of things until you get it right, and how would you be able to move on to that next thing if you just kept holding on to that old thing that wasn't working? It's insanity.
Everything is figureoutable. 🙂