Today I woke up at 7:30. My roommate usually leaves around 7:40 and I don’t know why, but I try to avoid him after I just wake up. Maybe it’s because I’m not really a morning person and would rather not talk to anyone until I’m feeling fully awake. Regardless, I heard what sounded like him leave, walk down the stairs and start up his car. I was going to get up right away once I heard all of that that, figuring he was definitely going to be in his car, but then I stopped myself. What if he had to run back upstairs for something? I thought about that for a second and decided to get up anyways. I opened my door and felt like I was going to see him. I walked toward the bathroom and on my way, low and behold, he walked out of his room. Seriously? Am I having premonitions? This stuff is getting WEIRD. Anyways, we said hi really quick and I just ran into the bathroom. Haha.
Once I heard him drive away, I emerged. I know, I’m a freakin’ odd ball.
I made some breakfast, and got started on my work. I am STILL working on that eBook cover which is going to take even LONGER to do now, as we are running into a dead end for our previous idea and now need to switch directions. I can’t wait to finish this thing. I worked on his stuff for a few hours in the morning, while listening to motivating YouTube videos to help keep me, well, motivated 😛 I came up with a couple new ideas for him, sent him an email and decided to work on something else. I was going to start working on my blog again, but I needed to get away from the computer, so I decided to head to the gym.
Before I left, I had a snack and then had an Herbalife Lift Off as my pre-workout. GOOD LORD did that baby get me AMPED for my workout! A Lift Off is a tablet you dissolve in water and is comparable to an energy drink that boosts energy and mental performance, except they are a lot healthier. They have no sugar, only 4g carbs, 10 calories, and are great for people who are on the go! Definitely recommend getting some of your own!
I got to the gym around 1:30, and started off with 15 minutes of walking treadmill interval inclines. Then I did a little stretching, and then went on to a 20-minute ab circuit. Man I was feeling good! FLAT ABS!!! FLAT ABS!!! FLAT ABS!!! Gonna get them!!! After my ab circuit, I headed downstairs do work on the big guns: LEG DAY, BABY! I beast-moded through a KILLER leg workout and completed in full all 3 sets of each exercise and with proper form. BOOM. I was dripping in sweat the entire workout. It felt AMAZING!!! I forgot how much I freakin’ LOVE working out! Not to mention, just being at the gym and checking out the eye candy ain’t so bad either… Glad I’m a single lady 😉 After a 40 minute leg workout, I headed back upstairs for some cardio. I did 20 minutes on the step mill and 10 more minutes of walking treadmill interval inclines. DONE. Got my 45 minutes of cardio in, along with working on my abs and lower body! Intention of the day: CHECK!
After the gym, I headed over to 619 Muscle because I wanted to pick up some new whey protein I was introduced to the other day at one of the booths at the NPC Championship Tournament. The brand is from Sexy-Strong and they have awesome-tasting advanced whey protein, specifically designed for women. The Power formula is gluten-free, soy-free and has low-lactose so you know I’m all about THAT! It has 23g. of the highest-quality form protein, 0g. sugar, 0g. fat, and only 100 calories. And the icing on the cake; they have two of my favorite kinds of flavors: Black Forest Cake (chocolate cherry, MMM) and Cafe Mocha. I couldn’t decide which one I wanted, sooo I got both 😉 They are both delicious and didn’t hurt my stomach after drinking them! Sold.
When I got home, I hit the showers. When I came out, I noticed a package on my porch… my Quest package had arrived! I got a bunch of protein bars, some protein peanut butter cups, and some low carb pasta (only has 4g. carbs, and 20 calories per serving!) I made lunch with the fettuccine and it was SO GOOD! Check out the photo below:
Shortly after that, my Herbalife package arrived! Although, it didn’t include everything in it I thought it would (I think some stuff was out of stock,) I was happy to see I got my 1/2 gallon of Herbal Aloe Concentrate (soothes the stomach, supports nutrient absorption as well as intestinal health) as well and my Mixed Berry Beverage Mix (has 15g. of high-quality whey protein, 0g. sugar and only 70 calories.) Today has been a good food day 🙂
After all of that, I continued working on my blog and learning more about affiliate marketing. I signed into Lyft for about 2.5 hours, but got no ride requests… weird. Maybe no one was going out because it was cloudy out? Only in San Diego.
While I was working, I got some texts from two awesome people in my life, telling me how inspiring I am to them by all the hard work I put in on a daily basis. That really made my day and gave me the drive to keep pushing hard! I don’t really hear that kind of stuff that often, so it was really nice that they went out of their way to tell me they notice my hard work and efforts!
I have been changing my attitude as of this week and no longer plan on being a victim to that of which we call life. I am the only one who can make the change and I’m literally tired of making excuses. That has never been my attitude in the past and so I don’t know why it has been as of late. I’m done being depressed, stressed out, anxious, low-energy, tired, angry, lonely, bloated, and self-conscious. I know I have so much more in me, I’ve proved it in the past! I’ve just been going through a healing/transition period, on top of trying to work through some post-traumatic stress. But that transition period is at it’s tail end… I can just FEEL IT! Why? Because I am deciding so. I am making the choice to squash it and find my old self again… mix that in with a bit of my new, stronger self and work towards becoming a SUPERIOR ME! I’m molding myself into a new creature, and there is no stopping me now! All the crap and bullshit that happened in the past, that hurt me, that made me feel like less of a human, that has kept me down all this time… is only going to fuel me to become better. “Let your pain fuel you.”
I want to make a declaration: I want to thank this one specific person from my past who caused me more pain than anyone else has in this world. He was an emotional abuser, who caused me to hit one of my lowest of lows, when the realization kicked in that our whole relationship was fake and that he didn’t actually respect or love me. I have been manipulated for years from this one person. I gave 110% of myself to him, and in the end, I ended up not getting what I worked so hard for (well, at least that’s what I thought at the time.) He almost literally sucked the life right out of me. However, if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have learned such substantial life lessons and I am 99% sure I wouldn’t be where I am today. I am much happier now than I was with him because I now know how much confidence and strength I actually have. I was able to pull myself away from him, and was able to stay away. That was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. But I did it.
After many months of reflecting, I have come to this conclusion: He didn’t know how to handle my strength and felt insecure, jealous, and angry of how I handled his disrespect and manipulative/controlling ways towards me (ummm, if all of this sounds crazy, that’s because HE IS!) So he tried to bring me down with him. In truth, he did, but only for a little while. I got pulled down to his level, and really got to see his dark side, and I’ll tell ya… that is not a place I want to stay for long, that’s for DAMN SURE!
Now I’m on to bigger and better things, and realizing that I’ve overcome such a difficult challenge, I now believe I can do anything I put my mind to. I will let all the pain inside me FUEL me to be better than I ever have, and to build up such a strong confidence in myself, that NOTHING will be able to shake me. I never will allow anyone to make me feel like less of a person ever again. If they ever do, they can be rest assured they’ll be dismissed from my life promptly.
The scars from my past only show that I am stronger than whatever it was that tried to hurt me. I’m still here, living and breathing. I am continuing to do good things in life and am not letting that one little episode from my past hold me down forever.
To this “demon” of my past, THANK YOU for making me even stronger and happier than I was before we met. You changed my life for the better, even though you are no longer in it. All you are to me now, is a lesson learned and little speck of light that ignited MY FIRE.