Hater - "A person who simply cannot be happy for another person's success." - Urban Dictionary
From what I have read, having haters means you're doing big things and making an impact. Haters will hate on you simply because you’re doing things they cannot, will not or don't have the guts to attempt.
Success always attracts a group of haters; it's a natural part of growth. Just as light cannot exist without darkness, there cannot be a positive without a negative. The price you're going to have to pay in order to make an impact is to learn how to deal with people who criticize and judge both you and your work. In addition, it's important to realize that you truly cannot please everyone.
On the contrary, to avoid being criticized and hated on, don't voice your opinion, don't set goals, be average and hide from the world.
The other day, I received my first "hater email" in regards to how much money I've been earning through my blogs, and so I figured I would use the story as fuel for a new blog post!
HOW I GAINED MY FIRST HATER EMAIL
For the past 3.5 years, I've been trying to figure out how to earn enough passive income to live a comfortable lifestyle. It has been a long, tumultuous road, full of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but I can finally honestly say that I feel like I'm on the right track for me.
This past year has been unbelievable so far, and because of that, I feel like I can really start sharing what's working for me, to help guide and encourage others who are looking to learn how to earn passive income online as well.
I've seen other bloggers post their monthly income reports and have been considering creating my own, but the thought of letting the world know how much money I make a month kind of made me feel a little uneasy.
Naturally, I feared that some people might see it as a way of bragging. Maybe some people would feel jealous and start treating me differently. Or maybe some would start saying things like "Since you're making all this money now, why don't you pay for your stuff and my stuff..."
I knew posting a monthly income report was most likely going to bring some sort of repercussions from certain types of people but it could also provide advice to others who actually need it.
I chose to look at the bigger, more positive picture, and found the courage to be transparent about my income.
On Sept 1, I posted my first Monthly Blogging Income Report for the month of August.
The day after posting my income report (and probably in response to it) I received a handful of insulting emails from some random guy through my Uber Driver Referral blog. He was looking to sign up to drive using my referral code, in order to receive the new driver bonus, but the way he wrote to me pretty much reminded me of that crazy, narcissistic roommate I had two years ago, which alerted my bullshit antennas.
His email correspondence was actually pretty entertaining, so of course I'm going to share it... :)
In his first message, he asked me if my referral code was still valid and then told me he wanted half of what I made (even though it's an equal double-sided bonus) after he did 100 rides in 2 days... plus something about signing a legal doc?
Then, 2 minutes later, he sends me a second email (before I even replied,) where it seems like he's trying to invoke fear into me and bully me into doing what he wants.
The thoughts I had in response to this fool?
Wow, the way you're talking to me is extremely insulting.
So what you're saying is, my punishment for not doing what you want is not getting a couple hundred dollars... man, I'd pay YOU a couple hundred dollars to just go away. Why would I want to give you half of what I make off of it? Just because you're threatening me? I don't see the benefits for me here... Why would this be worth it to me?!
Oh, because you are going to get me the money that much sooner? Uber pays weekly, so that wouldn't even happen. Plus I'm not desperate for the money, as you clearly are. You're going to have to entice me with more for me to even consider it.
If I do not comply with what you want and when you want it, you won't consider me a professional who does business? What does that even mean?! And furthermore, why would I care what you think of me? WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?!
Furthermore, how are you actually going to do 100 rides in 2 days? That's 50 rides a day, which means if you give 2 rides an hour, it's going to take 25 hours... which is more hours than there are in a day. Even if you did 3 rides an hour, that would be over 16 hours. I don't think it's safe for passengers to be getting rides from a guy who's been driving for that many hours in a day.
Your sense of entitlement is absolutely ridiculous. What makes you so special that you think you deserve to get a large portion of my money on top of yours? Are you better than other people who are signing up to drive using my referral code? It's a double-sided bonus so we both get the same amount. But you want more... just because?
I calmly responded 15 minutes later with this:
He writes back, immediately...
Spelling? Grammar? More insults? And now I'm arrogant? What am I doing that's arrogant exactly?!
Seems like narcissistic projection to me.
Do you even know how much time and money I've put into figuring out how to blog and how to earn passive income? It's taken me almost 4 years of hard work, major struggles and resilience to get to this point. Financially, entrepreneurship has put me $40,000 in debt, which I'm still working on paying off (and still have a long road ahead of me!)
I've also done plenty of leg work in driving for Uber... What are you doing that's helping people?
I didn't find you, you found me. I created something, you didn't. You just sit there hiding behind a computer screen, spewing bullshit and insults.
As a matter of fact, let me get this straight, you're going to message me out of no where, demand that I give you my money, insult what I do, call me names, make threats and then expect to be rewarded for it?!!
And then he writes one last email...
MY RESPONSE & WHAT I DECIDED TO DO FROM HERE
I chose to ignore this toxic person and blocked his email.
The way I see it is, this is my site, my business, and my life. I could let other people's opinions, judgements, harsh words and awful treatment of me get me down, but I simply prefer not to give them that kind of power. People can't control you, unless you let them, so I have made it a point to take better control of my reactions to things that happen to me, instead of letting them upset me and/or playing victim.
He wanted me to react but I didn't give him the reaction he wanted. He's just a person who's unhappy with his own life and feels the need to try to cut others down to his level in order to temporarily feel powerful. His hate has nothing to do with me and has everything to do with how he feels about himself.
One of my friends told me that maybe I shouldn't post my monthly income reports because it might do more harm than good. It could cause people to not want to use my referral code because I'm "making enough money as it is."
He could be right. And maybe I'll make less from Uber referrals in the future because of this.
But should I stop writing them out of fear of what "might" happen? What if that doesn't happen? All I can do is try it and see what happens, then learn and grow from it.
I'm writing these reports to help other people learn how to make passive income online. I'm also writing these reports for myself, to help me analyze what's working and what's not. I feel like I'm helping more people out there by providing valuable information and if someone has a problem with it, then they shouldn't read it. Their reaction is not really my problem, is it?
It doesn't take much talent to sit behind a computer screen and try to tear people down. It does take talent, skill and guts to put yourself out there and build anything of value. I'm providing value so I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing. Who cares about the petty comments from people who are envious? Let them live at war in their own heads. I've already done that to myself in the past and have learned to rise above it.
WHY HATERS HATE
- Because they don't think someone deserves what they have. They want what you have but can't figure out how to get it. And they're pissed because you make it look so effortless.
- Because they need attention. They want to feel heard or get a reaction because then they will feel like they exist.
- Because they are unhappy with their life. Misery loves company so they try to pull others down to their low level in order to feel more powerful.
- Because it's easier to hate on someone than to fix their own issues. Owning up to their own deficiencies takes responsibility, courage and bravery, and those are just some traits they don't posses.
- Because they have too much time on their hands. They spend a lot of time on others who have a lot of things going on, scrutinizing everything they do or post simply out of admiration. If only they could show their admiration in a better way!
HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB
I live by the golden rule of treating others how I want to be treated. I'm also a people-pleaser and am usually the one who tries to make everyone else around me feel better.
That said, I've really never understood why some people I've crossed paths with over my lifetime didn't like me or intentionally tried to hurt me. Why would anyone not like someone who's always trying to be nice to people and always trying to do the right thing?
Through my own struggles in my entrepreneurial journey, I've learned that happiness is an inside job and some people just aren't happy with whatever their situation is in life. Unhappy people may lash out at happy people because they have something they want: a state of prolonged happiness. They lash out because they either don't know how to make themselves happy or they still have a long road of work ahead of them before they can get there.
Well here's how I can relate, show compassion and be empathetic to haters and unhappy people!
I've been that unhappy person in the past and I also know what it feels like to be envious or jealous of what another person has. It can be extremely frustrating when you're working really hard towards something, yet struggling every day and still feel like you're getting no where.
I know that if I ever showed my jealousy towards another person, it was probably just because I wanted them to know that I was working really hard to get that same thing, but that I was struggling... and maybe I was hoping they'd offer me some help! Maybe in the form of validation that I was on the right track and some motivation to keep plugging away. Or maybe in the form of constructive criticism and some guidance on what I needed to change.
Change being the key word here.
If you aren't happy with something, make a change! And if you don't know what to change, ask for help!
I've personally worked really, really hard and made lots of changes in my life in order to reach a higher level of happiness for myself. Everything I have now was earned, not handed to me, and so I definitely won't let anyone else try to make me feel bad about it!
PUSH PAST YOUR FEARS, IGNORE THE HATERS AND RISE ABOVE
You can't please everyone and if you're creating something meaningful and on a large scale that affects other people in the world, you're probably going to get criticized at some point. It just comes with the territory.
Every positive has a negative. Focus on the positive and on doing your thing and let the negativity fall away.
If you are afraid of being judged and criticized for doing what you love, then you will never be truly happy. Why? Because you'll be doing things you don't love, day in and day out, which will probably make you miserable and unhappy over time.
Being unhappy for an extended amount of time will probably make you bitter, resentful and maybe even jealous of others who do get to do what they love every day and who are also reaping the rewards of it.
You might say to yourself, "they only have that because of ____" or "must be nice to have it so easy..." But the truth is, it probably wasn't "easy" to get to where they are at. The difference between you and them was a change in attitude (not letting fear or anyone else stop them.) Then they just put in the work day in and day out to get them to where they are today.
Bottom Line: Don't let your fears be the only thing standing in the way of reaching your goals.
Critics are waiting everywhere. It doesn't matter what you do, you're always going to be judged, so you might as well do whatever you want!
WHY I'M THANKFUL FOR HATERS
Haters only motivate me to do more of what they hate, which makes me accomplish more things, which makes me more successful, which ultimately makes me feel better about myself and helps me become my best self.
Even with their unkind words, haters help keep me grounded so that my success never goes to my head. I truly cannot thank them enough!
How do you deal with haters and critics? Do you have any stories where someone's negativity fueled your fire and helped you accomplish more? Leave your comments below!