This post is going to be about how I'm going to get organized and focus on myself again.
It's been 2 weeks now since I moved into my own place. I worked very, very hard to get my apartment and am EXREMELY happy to finally be where I need to be. I feel like this is the right thing for me and that only good things are going to come from this!
I still have to put a lot of things away but I have the basics set up; that being my kitchen (one of the most important rooms in my home!) and my clothes are all hung up/put away. The rest of the place... Well, it's pretty much sprawled out all over the apartment. That's not like me at all, since I usually like to be super duper organized, but after living with a narcissist who had severe OCD for the past 3 months, I kind of feel like it's my right to just put my focus in other areas. I'll get to it when I get to it, and no one can say anything otherwise! 😉
I actually do need to get on it within the next week though, because I have a friend coming to visit!! Yay!
Getting organized and focused should be a lot easier for me, going forward. I don't have the stress of moving again anywhere in my near future, so that totally helps! I've always worked best in a structured environment and I've been realizing that the fact that I DON'T have much structure to my daily life is most likely what has been causing me the most stress. I feel like I'm always working, especially nights and weekends, which are the times when a lot of my friends want to hang out. Saying no to them has been really, really tough. One, because I want to see them! And two, because I would obviously rather go have fun than work!
I actually hit a low point this past Sunday and started contemplating giving up this "Time Freedom" lifestyle (Ha! What time freedom?!) for something more comfortable and "stable." And so I started looking online for 9-5 jobs. As I was searching, I saw some great salaries, WITH benefits, which were like eye candy to me. "Man, how nice would that be to have all of that again?!?" I thought to myself. I tried to hold off as long as I could, but the more I reminisced about my old "9-5" days, the more I longed to have that easier lifestyle again, and the more weak I became. I caved into my inner Blerch and ate a bunch of chocolate to comfort myself. I ended up developing a splitting headache, as well as a stomach ache, and passed out in my pitiful sloth-ness.
I woke up Monday morning, mad at myself for eating all that crap and was feeling sorry for myself. Regardless, I headed down to the National City Fit Club for 9:30am. I wasn't really in the mood to put on my happy face or talk to anyone. And I definitely didn't want to put much effort into the workout. I thought, "How could I cave and give in to my Blerch? I'm such a weak person. Why am I even going to this workout? It's a waste of my time. I'm never going to reach my goals because I SUCK."
It was then in that moment that my good conscience stepped in and told my inner demon to just "SHUT THE F UP!!!!!!!!"
To my surprise, it did.
I ended up KILLING it in our workout and even did my longest plank EVER! Like, twice as long as I usually do!
After that, I was all fired up because I came to the realization that my GOOD inner voice is actually stronger than my evil inner voice, and so ultimately that is the one that will always prevail. I refuse to be bullied, even by my own self!
There will be stumbles along the way, but my true soul will NEVER give up!
I went home and spent the next couple of days figuring out exactly what is holding me back and what I can do to change. Then I started strategizing how to make the changes I want happen. I came up with what is below.
What is Holding Me Back:
- I'm held back by the stress of not being organized or having a set schedule/plan. I don't use my time as efficiently as I could.
- I also get stressed out by working with people. I am a graphic designer, so naturally I work best alone.
- I always stretch myself too far. I have my "eggs" in a couple of different baskets, which tends to make things challenging when I'm trying to build up business.
- I comfort myself with food. But the foods I've been choosing have been foods I know I'm not supposed to eat. Those foods hurt my stomach, and cause my energy levels to crash, which in turn, affects my production levels. I don't want to eat the foods on my meal plan from the past, even though I know that meal plan works. I don't want to eat only those foods because frankly they bore the F out of me. I NEED to enjoy my food. Especially if everything else in my life is tough and stressful. I need some sort of enjoyment.
How I Plan to Follow Through on My Changes:
- Get my stuff organized in my apartment.
- Set up a weekly schedule for myself and stick to it. I don't need to get a 9-5 job to do that. I can have my "cake" and eat it, too 😉 (in the career field as well as the health field.) I just need to be a little more self-disciplined and have a plan of action.
- I need to discover some new recipes and have a new meal plan. I've decided to do Paleo because that has always worked really well for me in the past. Plus, it cuts out everything that bothers my body: soy, dairy, grains, legumes, starches, processed foods, and refined sugar. I also don't really drink much anymore anyways, so alcohol is pretty easy to avoid for me. Of course, I'll also be implementing Herbalife products in there as well!
I have already done some research on exactly what foods are okay to eat on Paleo and got rid of anything in my cupboards that was "non-Paleo." I went to the grocery store and stocked up on the right foods to start experimenting (click here for the Paleo Essential list that I used for reference!) I must say, I'm already loving the recipes I've tried (waaay more delicious and full-filling than my old meal plan, which was focused on a Paleo/Blood Type Diet), I'm feeling really good, and the bloat in my stomach is starting to go down!
I plan on doing my own 30-day personal challenge starting Oct. 1. I've technically already started, but I'm using this week as my "practice week," to get accustomed to it. I'm experimenting with different foods and tracking down anything that bothers my stomach. I actually have a list started on my fridge for that 🙂 I ultimately don't want to have to track my calories (that can be such a pain in the a$$!) but for this month and a week, I plan on tracking everything, just so I can see what works and what doesn't. Plus it helps keep me accountable and maybe it will help me help others in the future! I'm keeping notes on how I feel each day as well. I know in the past I've developed headaches from eating low carb, so I want to track how long those last. If you want to follow me on MyFitnessPal to see what I've been eating and what I've been doing for exercise, click here.
I'll also be taking my Herbalife Nutrition Plan more seriously and using it exactly how I'm supposed to be. That will be 2 "shakes" a day and all of my tablets at the times I'm supposed to be taking them. I. AM. FINALLY. READY. It's taken me a year to get it down perfectly, for me, but I think I got it figured out now 🙂 I have learned that I can't take any of the regular products because they have soy in them, which has really bothered my stomach in the past. So I've had to learn how to be creative with less flavors (I use the chocolate and vanilla Formula 1 Sport.) I'm also taking the whole digestive line and even started their 21-Day Herbalife Balancing Program, which is basically a gentle cleanse for your digestive system.
I have a dry erase board calendar that I've set up (please excuse my chicken scratch) to make sure I do what I'm supposed to be doing every day. My plan is to do a weigh-in and write a blog post on my progress every Wednesday. Every other day of the month I plan on taking 2 pics of my stomach area (from the side and from the front) and also make sure I hit my 150g protein goal for the day. I'll also probably be posting some of the delicious Paleo recipes I come up with... the focus will be on making quick and easy recipes! 🙂 I hope at the end of the month, by Halloween, I will have everything checked off on this calendar! I also hope to have some awesome results! 😉
I am excited to get back to being ME! And getting what I want for myself. I hope this challenge inspires others to do the same! You can do anything you put your mind to, but you have to make sure you are READY to make the commitment. I know I'm ready now. Ready and focused 🙂